When she turned and saw her father fall, she closed her eyes and shook her head, not believing what had just happened. A minute ago, she had wished the man would disappear. After witnessing the truck smack into his side and seeing him lying on the ground, surrounded by people, she felt dazed and out of place. She slowly began walking, almost strolling to where her father lay. A single tear escaped from her eye as a single word rasped through her unused vocal chords.
"No."
She couldn't hear herself say the word. The familiar silence that has plagued her all her life was screaming, desperate to be free.
After an eternity, she reached her father and knelt by his side, grasping his clammy hand. There wasn't much blood; she only saw a trickle coming from his ear. His eyes looked through her at something unseen. The blazing fire she'd always seen burning there had dimmed to a spark. There was little recognition in his eyes for his baby girl. She knew that when he looked at her flaming red hair and pool blue eyes, he didn't see her. He saw her mother, who had left this world when she was young. The look of love in his eyes what not that of a father for his daughter, but one of a husband for his wife. He struggled to reach up and stroke her cheek. He smiled the smile she hadn't seen since before her mother died.
Still, her heart sank when her mother's name formed on his lips in that frustrating stillness she knew so well. Her mind raced with torturing thoughts. 'I shouldn't have lied,' 'I shouldn't have run off like that,' and 'Don't leave me! I need to say I'm sorry! Please!' She wanted - no needed to scream them so Heaven and Hell could hear her wail. More tears brimmed and spilled over, smearing her mascara as sobs shook her entire body.
She felt hands grabbing her arms pulling her away. She wanted to fight them and stay with her father, but she could only manage to reach out and brush his fingers. His arm fell and the spark darkened to a spent coal. Suddenly she could move again. She beat at the paramedics dragging her. Her strength surprised them as she wrenched free and frantically raced to her father's side. As they pulled her away, she saw the spark flash again for just an instant and in that flash he finally saw her. She felt a strange calm pass through her. She understood. He needed to go.
She closed her eyes and sighed in acceptance as one final tear streamed down her cheek. For once she was glad she was filled with absolute quiet as she thought, "Bye, Dad."
No comments:
Post a Comment